Silent no more: a survivor of sexual assault by prominent Memphis pastor Andy Savage shares her story #metoo #churchtoo #silenceisnotspiritual
"You are not to blame. You did nothing wrong. You are not alone." These are the messages we hope every victim will hear and believe. The waves of sexual assault stories by prominent, famous and powerful people have spread far and wide these last few months, most profoundly impacting those who have suffered abuse of their own. This has come as no shock to those of us who have been sounding the alarm for years about rampant abuse in churches by pastors and other leaders. Thankfully, the spread of #metoo stories has merged with #churchtoo, giving courage and space for more victims to come forward and break the silence protecting sexual predators.
Texas Penal Code Chapter 5. (22.011)
Title 5. Offenses against the person.
Chapter 22. Assaultive Offenses.
Sec. 22.011. Sexual assault.
(b) A sexual assault [...] is without the consent of the other person if: [...] 10) the actor is a clergyman who causes the other person to submit or participate by exploiting the other person’s emotional dependency on the clergyman in the clergyman’s professional character as spiritual adviser …
Chapter 22. Assaultive Offenses.
Sec. 22.011. Sexual assault.
(b) A sexual assault [...] is without the consent of the other person if: [...] 10) the actor is a clergyman who causes the other person to submit or participate by exploiting the other person’s emotional dependency on the clergyman in the clergyman’s professional character as spiritual adviser …
Texas Penal Code 22.011(b)(9): “by exploiting [the patient or former patient's] . . . emotional dependency”; and (b)(10) “by exploiting the other person’s emotional dependency on the clergyman in the clergyman’s professional character as spiritual advisor”
This post is in coordination with Dee Parsons at The Wartburg Watch. We are honored to be entrusted with helping a brave woman break the silence.
On December 1, 2017, the following email was sent by Jules Woodson to Andy Savage, co-founder and teaching pastor at Highpoint Church in Memphis, Tennessee. The church has three locations throughout the Memphis area.
From: Jules Woodson .Date: 12/1/17 9:21 AM (GMT-07:00)Subject: Do you remember?Do you remember that night that you were supposed to drive me home from church and instead drove me to a deserted back road and sexually assaulted me?Do you remember how you acted like you loved me and cared about me in order for me to cooperate in such acts, only to run out of the vehicle later and fall to your knees begging for forgiveness and for me not to tell anyone what had just happened?Well, I REMEMBER.#me-too
To date, Andy has not replied.
This is Jules' story in her own words. [*warning: contains graphic content]
One evening, in the early Spring of 1998, I was hanging out
with my youth minister, Andy Savage, at my church, Woodlands Parkway Baptist
Church located at 10801 Falconwing Drive. I was 17 years old at the time and a
senior at The Woodlands High School. There had been multiple kids there at the
church after school, but as the night got later I was the only student left,
alone in the church with Andy. I did not have a vehicle at the church, so Andy
offered to take me home to my Mom's house.
It was dark outside. As he was driving me towards my home,
he passed the turn he should have made to go to my house. I asked him where he
was going. I don't remember his exact response, but it was something along the
lines of ‘you'll see’ or ‘it's a surprise.’ I know for sure he did not tell me
where he was taking me. I remember feeling special and excited, as in my mind,
he obviously wanted to spend more time with me before taking me home. I assumed
we were going to get ice cream.
*He turned onto a dirt road and continued to drive. There
were trees all around. I could not see the main road anymore, from which he
turned from. I asked what was back here. He told me they were building a
church. I thought, maybe that’s what this was about, maybe he has some secret
to tell me, like perhaps he was moving to another church. We reached a dead end
and he turned the truck around before putting it in park. We were stopped, and
he turned the headlights off. Suddenly, Andy unzipped his jeans and pulled out
his penis. He asked me to suck it. I was scared and embarrassed, but I did it.
I remember feeling that this must mean that Andy loved me. He then asked me to
unbutton my shirt. I did. He started touching me over my bra and then lifted my
bra up and began touching my breasts.
After what I believe to have been about 5 minutes of this
going on, he suddenly stopped, got out of the truck and ran around the back and
to my side before falling to his knees. I quickly buttoned my shirt back up and
got out of the truck. Now I was terrified and ashamed. I remember him pleading,
while he was on his knees with his hands up on his head, ‘Oh my god, oh my god.
What have I done? Oh my god, I'm so sorry. You can't tell anyone Jules, please.
You have to take this to the grave with you.’ He said that several times. My fear and shame
quickly turned to anger. I had just been manipulated and used. I swore to him I
wouldn't tell anyone just to get him to stop. We both got back in the truck. As
he drove me home, I don’t remember there being any conversation. I was in
shock.
As soon as I got home, I went straight to bed. I couldn't
fall asleep fast enough. Please God, let this all be a bad dream, I thought. Yet
the hurt I was beginning to feel soon snapped me back into reality. This was no
bad dream, this was a living nightmare. The secret quickly began to eat away at
my soul. I couldn't concentrate at school. I couldn't think about anything else.
The fear, shame, anger and hurt consumed me. As embarrassing as it would be for
me to tell all the ‘dirty’ details of this horrible secret, I had no other
choice. What happened to me was not right nor had it been my fault. I had to
report this. Little did I know, the very people I was about to entrust to protect
me and help me would not only victimize me all over again but would also engage
in a cover up to protect my abuser and the image of the church.
Larry Cotton was the Associate Pastor of Woodlands Parkway
Baptist Church at the time. Steve Bradley was the head pastor. I mustered up
the courage to go tell them what happened. For some reason, Steve wasn’t available,
so I only spoke with Larry. I remember asking him if I could speak privately with
him and he said yes. I started out by saying something awful had happened to
me. I was already crying. Somehow, I felt brave enough to tell Larry every
detail of what had happened with Andy. I was mortified but I thought I was
doing the right thing as both Larry and Steve were over Andy in the church and I
was way too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone else, especially my own parents.
Just as I had finished telling my story, Larry immediately
spoke up and asked me to clarify. He said something to the effect of, ‘So you’re
telling me you participated?’ I remember feeling like my heart had just sunk to
the floor. What was he asking? More importantly,
what was he trying to imply? This wave of shame came over me, greater than I
had ever felt before. I had just gotten done telling him everything that Andy,
my youth pastor, asked me to do. I didn't say that I screamed no, jumped out of
the car and ran into the dark forest because I hadn't. I told him that Andy had
asked me to perform oral sex and unbutton my shirt and I did. Every ounce of courage
I had gathered, to walk in there and tell Larry the truth about what had happened
to me, left in an instant. Not only did I suddenly feel this immense guilt for doing
what Andy had asked me to do but I also started to feel that this was my fault somehow
because I didn't stop him.
As you might imagine, I was beyond overwhelmed at the myriad
of emotions I was feeling. I remember Larry telling me that he would have to
share with Steve all that I had told him. I asked what was going to happen next
and he said that him and Steve would be talking to Andy and that the church
would be handling the situation. He told me not to speak with Andy and said
that he would be telling Andy not to speak with me as well. Through the tears,
I told him that I was too embarrassed to tell my Mom what had happened. He said
not to worry, that they would talk to my Mother as well. He then told me not
mention anything that had happened to anyone else. It was very clear to me that I was not to say
a word to anyone.
As days passed I remember feeling more and more hopeless. I
was confused as it seemed that Andy got to go about his day to day life, within
the church and outside of it, as though nothing had ever happened. In fact, he
led a 2-day event at the church, known as True Love Waits, promoting sexual
purity not only in abstinence from intercourse before marriage but also
abstinence in any physical contact, actions and thoughts which might lead to
sexual arousal. The irony had not been lost on me. Yet, here I was sinking
deeper and deeper into this pit of depression. I had no where to go, no one to
talk to. After all, I was given one job by the person I had sought help from
(Larry,) and that was to keep my mouth shut.
Not long after, I was meeting at the church with my all
female discipleship group. I hadn’t had much interest in even being at church
since everything that had happened but, deep down, I think I was just seeking
some sort of solace in my faith for all the pain and hurt I was going through. Something
came over me that night. I remember feeling disgusted and frustrated. What
happened to me was not right! Why were my pastors not listening?! As if a final
breath of courage filled my lungs, I opened my mouth and began to share some of
what had happened to me. Looking back now, I know without a doubt, it was a cry
for help. Tears ran down my cheeks. I remember feeling a slight sense of relief
as this was no longer just a secret between myself, Andy, Larry and Steve.
However, I too remember feeling as though I had just played my last card. I
knew I had broken the rules of silence and that there would be consequences to
my actions.
Word got back to Larry and Steve, almost immediately, that I
had shared some things with my discipleship group. Now they had to do
something. The youth group had a ski trip coming up and they announced to the
families that Andy would not be going. Rumors were starting to spread that
something had happened between myself and Andy. People thought/assumed that we
had exchanged an ‘innocent’ kiss. The church, however, never came out with an
official statement addressing what had happened and/or what was being done
about it. Instead, they held a going away reception for Andy at the church in
which he was allowed to simply say that he had made a poor decision and that it
was time for him to move on from our church. Many people came to love on him,
support him and say their goodbyes. There were hugs shared and tears shed. No
one truly knew why he was leaving except myself, Andy, Larry and Steve. The
gossip amongst my church family only continued to flourish. No one could
imagine Andy doing anything bad or immoral, much less illegal, and so, it somehow
became my fault that Andy was leaving.
I couldn’t have been more grateful that it was the spring of
my senior year as all I wanted to do was to leave town and get away from everything
and everyone. I had basically shut down.
I felt so alone. It wasn’t until much later that I would realize that no
matter how far away I moved nor how much I tried to move on with my life, that
I could never truly escape what had happened to me. For example, when I found
out that the church had contacted my parents, years later, and asked their
permission to bring Andy back on staff, it brought back a whirlwind of
emotions. Of course, my parents said NO, but even learning of this was
traumatizing. I am a grown woman now and although it’s been almost 20 years
since everything happened, it still affects me to this day. There are triggers that take me back to that
night, there are nightmares that haunt my dreams.
My hope in finally coming forward with my story is not only
that I can begin to get closure and healing for all that has happened to me,
but more so, that my story might have a positive impact on others and effect
positive change in how these types of situations are handled within the church.
To anyone who has suffered from sexual abuse in the church
and the subsequent cover up and pressure to remain silent, I want you to know
that it is not your fault. Most importantly, I want you to know that you are
not alone.
Woodlands Parkway Baptist Church in Texas changed names and is now Stonebridge Church in The Woodlands, Texas. Steve Bradley, mentioned in Jules' story above, is still the senior pastor at Stonebridge, which is a Southern Baptist church.
Woodlands Parkway Baptist Church in Texas changed names and is now Stonebridge Church in The Woodlands, Texas. Steve Bradley, mentioned in Jules' story above, is still the senior pastor at Stonebridge, which is a Southern Baptist church.
Larry Cotton, who was associate pastor at Woodlands Parkway Baptist Church at the time of Jules' story, is now a pastor at Austin Stone Community Church in Austin, Texas, which has five campuses.
Highpoint Memphis and Andy Savage - if you’ll recall - is the same church that was in the forefront of the news in Memphis in November 2016 for their role in the cover-up of sexual abuse by former church youth leader Chris Carwile. We subsequently uncovered that Highpoint allowed a convicted sex offender in a position of leadership at the church.
Texas mandatory reporting law is in full here.
Texas mandatory reporting law is in full here.
Jules has recently submitted a report to law enforcement. Andy Savage was an adult in a position of trust as a youth pastor who violated that trust and preyed upon a minor. This is sexual assault. We hope that anyone else that has been harmed by Andy Savage will know that they are not alone and will feel safe to come forward and make a report to law enforcement and seek help to heal.Sec. 261.101. PERSONS REQUIRED TO REPORT; TIME TO REPORT. (a) A person having cause to believe that a child's physical or mental health or welfare has been adversely affected by abuse or neglect by any person shall immediately make a report as provided by this subchapter.(b) If a professional has cause to believe that a child has been abused or neglected or may be abused or neglected, or that a child is a victim of an offense under Section 21.11, Penal Code, and the professional has cause to believe that the child has been abused as defined by Section 261.001, the professional shall make a report not later than the 48th hour after the hour the professional first suspects that the child has been or may be abused or neglected or is a victim of an offense under Section 21.11, Penal Code. A professional may not delegate to or rely on another person to make the report. In this subsection, "professional" means an individual who is licensed or certified by the state or who is an employee of a facility licensed, certified, or operated by the state and who, in the normal course of official duties or duties for which a license or certification is required, has direct contact with children. The term includes teachers, nurses, doctors, day-care employees, employees of a clinic or health care facility that provides reproductive services, juvenile probation officers, and juvenile detention or correctional officers.(b-1) In addition to the duty to make a report under Subsection (a) or (b), a person or professional shall make a report in the manner required by Subsection (a) or (b), as applicable, if the person or professional has cause to believe that an adult was a victim of abuse or neglect as a child and the person or professional determines in good faith that disclosure of the information is necessary to protect the health and safety of: (1) another child...
Andy has a new book set to be released on July 3, 2018 by Bethany House Publishers, forward by author and speaker Gary L. Thomas. It's available for pre-order now on Amazon.
“Silence” and “submission” are all too often the church’s watchwords for women and girls. When it comes to messages targeting women and girls in the church, we hear more about these two words than anything else, and both put us at risk.” @carolynezer https://t.co/mqYC25tdEP— Boz Tchividjian (@BozT) January 3, 2018
#silenceisnotspiritual
Another woman describes @andysavage inappropriate behavior while she was in high school and he was a pastor at her church. She told a leader but nothing was done. This is grooming. #justiceforjules #metoo #churchtoo #csa @hpmemphis pic.twitter.com/G3nPZ27wIF— Amy Smith (@watchkeep) January 11, 2018
My blog is my blog. I’m an advocate for abuse survivors. I’m not a news network. I moderate comments. I do not allow *all* of the shit people want to say that shames & blames Jules. @hpmemphis is doing that so go comment on their page if you choose or do that or on your own page. pic.twitter.com/EXRW42AJHg— Amy Smith (@watchkeep) January 10, 2018
#justiceforjules
Comments
Also, to whom are you referring when you say "you should have used some of this time to muster up an ounce of personal responsibility"? If you're referring to Jules, what exactly is SHE accountable for?
I am really tired of the questions being asked of the victims, "Why did you/didn't you . . .?
Why aren't we asking the perps, "Why did you?"
The church in the USA is more concerned with appearance than substance. If things stay the same in the American Church, I don't think many church leaders will be happy with Jesus. They are the new Sadducces and Pharisees. I will pray for you and that you get peace, comfort and justice. God bless you.
"So you participated?" Disgusting.
Her ONLY accountability was to hold HIM accountable. She was a child.
I sincerely hope that "pastor" is removed from his position of authority.
Keep talking. Keep shining the light of truth into the darkness of sin. God bless you dear lady. .
Question: How can we start a petition to have Andy Savage removed? The church being held accountable? The publishers of his books to STOP printing, selling, enabling a Child Molester, Sexual Predator and overall Manipulative Con-Artist?!
He must be held accountable! Jules has endured enough victimization while he has reaped all the benefits in pursuing his ‘dreams’!
I had a similar situation happen to me when I was very active in church as a teen and college student. With the #metoo movement it is all I can think about.
I noted something in your statement. There was a going away party for Andy. He sexually assaults someone and gets a going away party.
By Andy's own testimony he made it appear like he had to slither away back home in disgrace. Interesting.
By every account I have read of Andy's version and Jules account, the pastors at Stonebridge Larry Cotton and Steve Bradley did not do things in a Biblical manner.
They lied. They lied by omission. Andy lied by omission. All three lied by omission to the church body of Stonebridge. They allowed the people to remain ignorant of the facts.
James 4:17New International Version (NIV)
17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them
The basic concept of reaping and sowing is indeed in full play here. Larry Cotton, Steve Bradley sowed deception.
Even though a young underage girl was assaulted by no fault of her own they did not restore their sister back to health. Galations 6:1 I know the verse says a person sinning and she was not sinning but the concept should be all the more carried out to restore her mental and spiritual health as a sister and a victim. She came to the pastors in need of help and guidance and their first response was to assume she was complicit. And then treated her as if she was far worse.
And now 20 yrs later that seed has sown into a full blown tree for anyone to see. The full sin of Andy was not exposed and brought into the light, it was kept in darkness. John 3:20
Everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come into the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
This assault was not handled biblically at all. It was mired in sin of deception, until a light shone down on it called #metoo.
And the new pastors at HighPoint Church are now caught up in a deception by carefully manipulating a finely scripted sermon in response that not only again covers up the travesty of what was done to Jules but objectifies her #meetoo tweet and email to Andy as a repugnant assault at him.
They assume her accusations are because she has not healed. And maybe she hasen't but then they throw stones at her by standing behind a veil of manipulating words such as "you never heal by hurting others" or "has unforgiveness ever healed you?"
And the worst quote yet. "It saddens me Miss Woodson has not been on the same road to healing"
Ya think? Maybe because she was stonewalled into silence by trusting the shepherds that should have been protecting her.
The HighPoint pastor Conlee delivering the sermon as though they are a safe place to come to be restored and are loving and full of mercy but at the same time point fingers accusing Jules for bringing this to light, and exposing a brother pastor who had paid his dues, has paid his consequences and has repented, and restored himself before God and man is again hiding in sin.
Let me say this , if he had properly repented to Jules, came full out in front of his church body and repented of his exact assault and walked away slithering in shame and not a bon voyage party maybe he wouldn't be reaping what he has sown right now.
If it was dealt with, we would not be hearing about it. There would not be a lady named Jules still dealing with the aftermath.
Bravo Jules. You did the right thing. These men are cowards.
The point is, no one knows what would have happened next if Jules the 17 year old had said "No". Many, many women have had a seemingly "nice guy" suddenly get scary, when we say "No". And Jules is alone in the woods.
Why did Larry and Steve not ask themselves exactly HOW they KNEW they were dealing with a repentant sinner as opposed to a sick predator? Why were they willing to take that chance with the rest of their congregation and then the rest of the world when he left and they remained silent? Why is this sinner's current congregation so willing to ignore the possibility that their leader drove a 17 year old into the woods because that was where he could rape her if she didn't "just do it"?
Humility doesn't need to defend .
Humilty does'nt worry about reputation.
Humilty doesn't hide behind minimization of offences.
Humility doesn't need standing ovations.
Humilty accepts the repercussions of his actions for the rest of his life.
Humilty cares more about others than himself.
If you are a real leader of the sheep you lay down your life for the sheep. If Jesus is your example you lay down your life. Like Christ.
Instead, we have willful, arrogant pastors who dig in their heals, claim righteous repentance and stand their ground, keep their jobs, and through thoughtfully crafted lies, partial truths, accusation, blame, using twisted scripture seduce the sheep into believing their deceptions.
Wake up church! There is a problem when the *unrighteous heathens* stand up against unrighteousness and the church quickly burries it in false righteousness.
To all the pastors at Stonebridge, and Highpoint, and Larry Cottons current church, you can run and hide from people but you cant run and hide from God.
Clearly you have hardened your hearts and have stiff necks.
Jules—you are strong & brave. We apologize to you as your Christian brothers & sisters for letting you become a casualty and ask your forgiveness. Shame on us and shame on the leadership. We extend to you the Peace of Christ who loves you, can bind your sorrows & turn your tears to joy.
Regardless of what you reckon she could have done to escape, the situation is that this grown man and pastor drove a high school girl who was in his care into the woods under the pretense of getting her home safely, pulled his penis out apropos of nothing and without warning, and requested that the girl suck it. Not his girlfriend or a girl he had shown romantic interest in before or after the event, mind you, but a student of his ministry who had no reason to suspect a sexual act until the moment it happened. That is very alarming! I'm surprised you think it's blown out of proportion.
In some cases, the people with which you share concerns may have loyalties to the person who hurt you. In some cases, the person may be experiencing trauma from hearing your story albeit a lesser trauma than what you experienced. Also, often people believe that they must have first hand knowledge of abuse or neglect to report suspicion of abuse. If you have a reasonable suspicion of abuse, report it. You do not need to know for certain that an allegation is correct, that is what investigators are for. The information that you have in of itself may not be significant but maybe combined with reports from others it may be helpful. If you report your concerns and it is not investigated or is investigated and nothing was found, then you have done your part to protect a child. Imagine if you fail to report an incident and you later learn that the allegations were true. Also, even though an incident may warrant the removal of a child from a home or the prosecution of a perpetrator, children's services may be able to put supports in place to help a parent be a successful parent and alleviate the underlying concerns.
Kind of rambling here. Sorry.
My heart breaks for what was done to you that night by Andy and what was done to you by the church leaders you trusted afterwards. It could not have been easy to face the pain again and and come forward with your story. I applaud your courage and hope you finally get justice.
Thank you for speaking up both back then when the shameful church leaders did not do their job and again now.
So, all college men kidnap girls and take them into the woods alone at night, expose themselves and demand oral sex? First I've heard of that.
"She could have said No and fought him or ran if she felt she was in danger."
Fought someone a head taller and who-knows-how-many pounds heavier? And where would she run to? Jules was on an abandoned road, in the woods, in the middle of the night. No houses around, no one to hear her scream, probably not even any streetlights. Where was she supposed to go?
"I think this is being blown way out of proportion."
Even though Savage broke state, and possibly federal, laws? Hoooookay....
Anyway, I'm sitting here thinking about how you must have/still feel. The violation. Shame. Self esteem crash. Worthlessness. Remember in church sex ed they said if you do anything sexually before you're married you're a chewed up apple? HA!
Rahab was a prostitute. Jesus loved her and wanted her to be in his lineage. :)
Jesus cares about the oppressed, frees the captives, hates the hypocrites.
The song I'm listening to that feels right is "Down" by Anberlin. It just has the right mood for grief to have room to breathe.
Much love to you sweet girl.
I am sorry this happened to you. I am sorry your cry for help was not taken seriously by your elders. I am sorry that even now Savage still has not come forward and taken full responsability for his behavior.
I am sorry you still feel hurt.
I understand. You are in my prayers.
Lets get that answer before you continue with further stories. Fellow commenters--Why aren't you asking where were her parents since this young lady still seems to be troubled by this incident. Do you have children? If you knew this had happened to your daughter (or sone) would you SAY NOTHING? DO NOTHING?
Now--so you all now. I am a male-sexually assaulted by a male teacher while I was between 10-14yrs old in the 70's. It haunted me for decades. Tell me I am biased in my viewpoint! My parents, no one knew. Kids don't tell. But in this case, her parents knew and had a great mission to undertake in helping their daughter. What does this girl say about how her parents helped her? That I wish to know Mr. Writer. Where is your full sided reporting?
Once again let me state: I do not condone this Church's actions nor Mr. Savage's actions. But by this girls own testamony--five minutes, he knew his mistake and was on his knees to God! Until you live it, you really don't know. So people making comments--Judge not lest the be judged. I am so sorry this happened to this young lady and via the church, my heart goes out to her.
if the law about clergy abuse wasn't IN the texas law 20 years ago (and I suspect it was not) then what should the church have reported to the police if this was not deemed to be sexual assault 20 years ago?
hopefully girls and boys will report this when it happens, not 20 years later!
It is that secondary layer of abuse that exacerbates a victim's trauma. This is why victims remain silent. They are already traumatized and instinctively know that by coming forward they risk even greater harm, being interrogated, minimized, blamed and ultimately ostracized. When we exacerbate a women's trauma she will likely develop Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a condition that with proper interventions takes five years to heal. When this happens to girls it can develop into something much worse, Developmental Trauma Disorder. As you noted, we are finally engaged in important conversations but why are churches continually silent. I am happy we are now at a watershed moment in our culture where comprehensive training is the solution. At the same time, I am sad to say that I believe the only way that will happen is to litigate churches and hold all those involved personally responsible. Please visit our website for solutions. WWW.TheMENDProject.com. Thank you. Annette Oltmans Principal Founder
Also, it appears Bethany House Publishers has chosen to NOT publish Andy Savage's next book.
https://www.christiantoday.com/article/andy-savage-scandal-now-a-texas-church-leader-is-investigated-for-seeking-to-silence-victim/123249.htm
You should be ashamed of yourself.
She DID report it right away. To figures of authority, who promptly went on to protect the perpetrator while asking her to keep her mouth shut. So yeah, it's been 20 years of struggle for the victim, while the good pastor went on to have a happy life, preaching sexual purity, and culminating with a book advising on how to have a ridiculously good marriage.
You can't make this stuff up.
I'm sure this has been stated already, but it's also important for churches to have codes of conduct or policies in place that don't let youth ministers drive children home by themselves. That is just bad practice and could have prevented this situation. I'm so sorry for Jules being mistreated multiple times over. No excuse.
Healing to you Jules and shame on the hypocritical so called "ministers" who abused you and covered it up.
She didn't wait 22 years, she reported it right away and the church buried the whole affair as quickly as it could. She never got any justice.
This guy committed a crime for which the state of Texas has no statute of limitations, so this "argument" of yours and your buddies up-thread is inane.
And thank you that you told the story, you helped me feel I'm not alone. God bless you
The crime is sexual assault, not pedophilia.
Texas Penal Code Chapter 5. (22.011)
Title 5. Offenses against the person.
Chapter 22. Assaultive Offenses.
Sec. 22.011. Sexual assault.
(b) A sexual assault [...] is without the consent of the other person if: [...] 10) the actor is a clergyman who causes the other person to submit or participate by exploiting the other person’s emotional dependency on the clergyman in the clergyman’s professional character as spiritual adviser …
Texas Penal Code 22.011(b)(9): “by exploiting [the patient or former patient's] . . . emotional dependency”; and (b)(10) “by exploiting the other person’s emotional dependency on the clergyman in the clergyman’s professional character as spiritual advisor”
I am a victim of chronic abuse growing up. By people in authority and people in the church. Even now, 32 years after the abuse ended i will never address what happened with me to anyone from that church or who are related to my abusers.
For fear of rejection. For fear of not being believed. For fear no one will understand. And most of all for people like you on this page who just sit with zero compassion or empathy to even put yourself in my shoes. Or Jules shoes.
When a pastor uses you for sexual gratification and then turns on you using the authority that you were taught to believe had your best interest at heart it kills your soul and makes you question everything. When you are told to be silent and you get rejected you hope and believe at some point things will change. And when they dont hope and despair set in. Then you think whats the point? Nobody cares. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn to months. You try to carry on until you break down, or something triggers and explosion of past emotions you cant stuff anymore.
And to the guy who said she should have told her parents. Not everyone has a safe nurturing family. Not everyone has communicative parents. Some parents themselves are accusatory, some are so dysfunctional and the void between parent and child is so large , what would be the point.
My own mother called me a slut and whore just when i put on blush and some light lipstick. I never even dated all through school. How would I have gone to my mother?
All of you assume she had nice christian parents and her home life was fine.
Some of you suggest she was asking for it.
What I find perfectly clear is if you call yourselves Christians you are not behaving in love. You lack compassion, empathy, forethought, and want to willfully remain ignorant so you can sit back and blame Jules.
Yes the youth pastor took advantage of the young gal and he did act in a manner that likely would or should have put him in trouble with the law as he was the adult and she the child - in his 'suppossed' care.
If Savage had shed light (along with his pastoral leadership) on all of this in a timley way and with full disclosure - he would likely not be a pastor today - unless the Lord desired it.
Statutory rape is a stretch - but even twenty years ago - influencing, pressuring or manipulating a "child" to give her youth pastor a blowjob -- if that had been my daughter Savage would be missing a body part or two - God forgive me.
It is unfortunate that Jules will likely never come to a place of contentment or harmony if she seeks satisfaction only from men (I mean humans of all stripes here - that is human beings). All of us are fallen - the moral here is not too look to man but to look to Jesus for satisfaction in all things; for Jesus to heal and to renew and to bolster and to support us in our deepest grief. I am not suggesting that Jules does not have the moral high ground here - because she does. However man will always disappont - he always has and he always will so she can keep trying but remember what is important is what Jesus thinks of us and to Him we are priceless and there is nothing He will not do to reconcile us to Himself.
This story reminds me of poor Monica Lewinski and her poorly placed trust in another man - Sure she was just 22 - and he was in his mid 40's and a president . . . and rather than treated with empathy and compassion and a little dignity - she was scorned, loathed and a treated as a leper in this society of ours. So, yes let's stand for shedding light on miserable behavior to both women and men (because it happens to both - let me tell you) and let's not tolerate dispicable behavior from anyone but let's also embrace some Christain charity and forgiveness to real penitents. Recall if you please that St. Paul was once a persecutor and murderer of the first Christians but with the proper penitence and grace he became a lion for Christ and was beheaded in Rome for his proclmation of Jesus - may God forgive us all because we all need a second chance.
May God richly bless all of my brothers and sisters in Christ - particularly in this case Jules and Mr. Savage.
This is about much more than just the sexual assault. The impact of that act on the girl, already devastating by itself, was vastly compounded by the pastor's subsequent "apology", as well as the actions of the church. Yeah, the pastor kneeled right after the assault, but by asking her to stay silent he demonstrated that his foremost concern was not her well-being, but his own future. The other church leaders only reinforced the code of silence, and concealed the true nature of what had happened from the girl's parents and from the congregation.
All attention was focused on his redemption and none on her healing. They did everything they could to assist the pastor transition to a new life, while her suffering was ignored. It's great to preach forgiveness in the abstract, but all this talk ignores the fact that there was no real repentance, just more victimization. Neither the pastor, nor the church took any responsibility for that, and they still don't seem to get it.
Someone online said who will be the third party? The Presbtyrians?
My answer would be the Catholics, they are well versed in cover ups and shifting priests around.
Larry to this day is in sin for lying. He would have "gone to the grave" with it. Along with Steve Bradley.
If in some situation one on one counseling needs to take place, it should be done in view of another adult OR in view of a security camera. Any adult who seeks to be alone with youth is a huge red flag.
These standards protect not only youth, but adults from false accusations. Any modern church that has a youth program and doesn't implement two deep youth protection standards is worrisome.
I know the heartache and pain.
#metoo #michigan #hesstillpreaching #therearemore #ibecametheblacksheep
Can the Church be sued?
What Andy Savage did to Jules is no different than what Harvey Weinstein did. A MINOR IS UNABLE TO CONSENT. ANDY SAVAGE IS WORSE THAN WEINSTEIN IN THAT HE USED A POSITION OF SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY TO ASSAULT AN INNOCENT GIRL AND CONTINUED IN HIS "MINISTRY" UNTIL HE WAS OUTED. SHAME ON THE SO-CALLED CHRISTIANS WHO APPLAUDED HIS CONFESSION AS IF HE WERE SOME HERO.
# justiceforjules #metoo #churchtoo #silenceisnotspiritual
If a rapist holds a gun to a woman's head-- she does this act "willingly," just because she performs his demand(s) instead of saying "no"?
It's the exact same scenario here. Being a child driven to a remote, dark, wooded area by a church pastor she trusted is very scary. Few other female children would have said "no" at this point; she was betrayed and taken to a scary and isolated location. Clearly, she felt her life was in danger-- because, clearly, it WAS.
Anyone who has the stupidity and nerve to say "well, she did it willingly" is quite obviously either delusional or in support of rape, or a mixture of both. And anyone who does believe she acted willingly: how many of you would have been able to say no, facing the very real possibility of having to fight off your attacker in an area where nobody would ever have known you were there?
That's another thing: had she said "no" or tried to run into the remote and dark woods: then these digsuting rape apologists would be calling her stupid to have the nerve to do so.
She did what most women would have done in such a scenario: scared and knowing her life could very well have been in imminent danger, not to mention the shock she was in experiencing this from a "Man of God" who was supposed to guide her and keep her safe in the first place. So disgusting, and brave of her that she a) came to the church council right away and b) is coming forward regarding the entire experience today.
For anyone to excuse this man's actions is horrible, but to blame the victim in any way is just terrible beyond words.
Not to mention that as a female, she was not physically/ biologically able to fight off a grown male?
The age difference was more than you say, also-- not that that matters. What matters is that he raped her and you are saying it's no big deal, supporting his actions, and claiming she could and should have risked her life alone in the middle of nowhere and at night time to try and stop him.
My stomach is literally turning.
All these years he has been in a position to do the same thing to other children/ teenagers. You honestly believe he should just be allowed to keep raping other young women?
Also, why are you talking about how she should just "forgive and move on" ('cause I guess rape is no big deal to you) before talking about how he should REPENT?!
I fully support you in this journey. You did not deserve any of what was done or said to you. You did not ask for this nor are to blame because you didn't stop him. I know exactly what you mean as my first intimate encounter involved the guy straddling me so I couldn't move. I think he thought he was being "manly", but it left me feeling sick. I didn't stop him, but I, too, felt...I don't think there is a word that exists for that feeling, but the aftermath is shame.
Take care, Jules, and bless you for advocating for all of us!
As a pastor, I am deeply grieved over what happened to you. Your courage to come forward and make an attempt to heal personally and sound the alarm of wrongs committed is admirable and I applaud you.
The sinful condition we are struggle with is found in the church and leaders are not immune to it as well. I wish your church leaders had exercised more care and concern for you and conviction in the way they "led" through that situation. You should never have had to carry this weight around for as long as you have. Your shame and guilt are a direct result of pastors and trusted leaders who failed to carry out their shepherding role.
This is a lesson for all churches and church leaders...sin will find you out. The act of sexual assault upon anyone is evil, but especially destructive when done to children. I hope your testimony of wrongs committed causes all the pastors involved and their churches to carefully reflect on what happened in the past and consider how best to make it right, holding the leaders accountable.
God is gracious and sin can be forgiven, but it begins with repentance. The sins which were committed so long ago should be repented of by all the leaders involved and they should humbly seek your forgiveness for their failure to act appropriately then and for the trauma you experienced as a result.
Jules, I will be praying that you would find healing in this time. I pray that you would find the ability to forgive the wrongs committed against you so you can move past this and find victory over it. Thank you for your courage; thank you for your honesty; thank you for your willingness to shatter the glass walls of the church and remind us that we're all sinful people who are broken and in need of help through the gospel of Jesus Christ. May you find the help you need in the days ahead!
Blessings,
From a random pastor who hurts for you
I know what it is to have guilt and remorse for my wrongs and I know what it is like to believe I was a victim and desperately want the truth to come out but have nowhere to turn.
I don't know the full truth of this situation. I believe a Christian should be willing to go to extreme measures to right their wrongs as much as possible. I understand wanting ones own story to have a bigger impact and positive effect for change beyond ones own situation but I also care about this one situation and what Jules feels she needs to aid her own healing. I recommended Andy agree to a polygraph. It is not perfect but it is something. Jules could work with the professional that administers the polygraph to properly develop the questions she wants him to answer. She could make this public if she chooses. If he is sincere he should have no problem doing this. I appreciated his statement when he resigned yesterday. In her statement I didn't get a good feel for how Jules feels about him and what he is trying to do either for himself or for her. I understand not wanting the conversation to end, wanting real change that effects more people but Andy Savage can't solve all the other problems.
Going to the police does not guarantee justice. I went to the police. I got no justice. There was not enough probable cause to make an arrest. All the person I accused had to do was lie. The person I accused could still continue in their Church and in their community as if nothing was wrong. And because this person claimed to be a christian I went to their church. The person I accused was not in leadership at the church however. I was completely ashamed but I was willing to face my own shame if it would help the truth come out. I believe this person may be a psychopath *(incapable of guilt) and believe they did nothing wrong or they believe they can lie to the police but confess to God and they are forgiven and God loves them no matter what. I am still confused and dismayed by all of this.
I do also believe its possible he was wrestling with some things and in that moment realized what he was doing and instantly regretted it. Hence the begging for her to not talk about it. That doesn't excuse him from his actions or the cover up but I think its possible he made a mistake and put himself in a very stupid situation. He NEVER should have offered her a ride, OR been there alone with her as the last two to leave. Very very poor decision making there but he was a 22 year old man who probably didn't know any better at the time. I think youth leaders at most places have rules about that kind of stuff.